I’ve known a lot of people in my life and unfortunately I’ve lost contact with quite a few of them. One of the reasons I started this blog was to reconnect with people from my past and let them know what’s going on in my life. So if that’s you then do me a favor and read this post. For those of you who knew me growing up or in college the paragraphs that follow will probably seem a little weird or out of line with the person you used to know. It definitely won’t sound like the guy you partied with back in the day but that’s why I’m writing this post. I ran into some old friends the other day and they told me that word on the street, as they put it, is that I found Jesus and “became a preacher.” Well that’s not exactly true, so let me clarify.
I guess the easiest way to put it is that I finally came to a place in my life where deep down I was struggling to find true peace. Don’t get me wrong I was just like any other typical 20 something, I partied every chance I got and loved every minute of it. But I knew that it didn’t matter how much fun I had or how successful I became, these things would only give me temporary satisfaction. At the end of the day, when I was laying in my bed and it was just me and my thoughts, I was constantly struggling for true joy in my life. I fought it for a long time and finally decided I needed to do something about it.
Now before you start thinking I really have gone off the deep end and fallen into some kind of depression, hear me out. Most people, if they’re honest with themselves, know what I’m talking about. Some will try and mask it by going out on the weekends or traveling to amazing places or even working every chance they get. Some will consume themselves with their kids or with sports or even with the television, but when all of those things are gone it’s tough.
Here’s how it played out in my life. On the outside I was definitely happy, fun job, good friends, a nice place to live, what else did I need? But I still felt like I was missing something. I kept wondering if I truly happy or was I was covering up my emptiness with partying? Was I truly happy or was I hiding my loneliness by dating? Was I truly happy or was I buying nice clothes and fun toys to make myself feel good. I began to notice a pattern in my life of living for the moment because in reality I had nothing else to live for. Eventually, I had to ask myself a simple question…If I lost all of my worldly possessions could I still be happy, could I still have hope?
Try it for yourself. For one week don’t watch any TV, don’t text people, don’t get on your computer, don’t listen to your iPod or any music for that matter. Spend one week away from the multimedia laced world we live in. Spend a week with just your thoughts and see what happens. I tried it and let’s just say it wasn’t pretty; in fact it was downright depressing. I know it sounds cliché to say I was searching for something more meaningful or I was looking for the meaning of life, but I was. I finally came to the place where I knew I needed more. I needed to figure out for myself the purpose of my life. How did we get here or why are we here or what happens when we die? Is there a heaven and is there a hell? And the ultimate question…do I believe in God?
As a child I was raised to believe in God. The problem for me was the God I was raised to worship made life boring and if I ever committed to Him I'd have to say goodbye to my fun. As a result I spent most of my childhood and college years finding my own answers and seeking my own desires. I still believed in God but I only did what I thought was enough to get me to heaven and keep me out of hell. Unfortunately, Jesus isn't satisfied with a half-hearted commitment and the peace I was searching for was nonexistent in my life; I needed to find it.
So I ignored what the media told me, I ignored what Hollywood told me, I ignored my friends, my family and made the decision to figure out for myself what I believed about God. The sad part is when I finally did begin to think about God and my reason for existence I became one of the skeptics. I never completely stopped believing in God I just found it all a little far fetched. It was too difficult for me to actually believe that all of this could have actually happened exactly the way the Bible says it does. So I prayed and did quite a bit of soul searching. The bible says in Hebrews that “..it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment” and that verse haunted me. I knew that if there was even the slightest chance that the verse was true, then I owed it to myself to at least make an educated, researched, thought out decision and decide where I stood. What I didn’t realize was that the constant questioning and uneasiness in my heart was actually God actively pursuing a relationship with me.
There is a verse in the bible in the book of Matthew that says…
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30
Guess what, that was me. I was weary and burdened from the blur that was my life. Always on the move, always busy, and never having even a second to sit and think about life or the existence of God. The Bible makes it very clear that one day we will all stand before God and be judged. It doesn’t matter how many bad things we’ve done or how many good things we’ve done, all our works mean nothing in the presence of a Holy God. The bottom line is that there isn’t some heavenly scale that weighs our good works against our bad and there also isn’t some mountain with a million different paths. The Bible is clear when it says that Jesus Christ is the only way to get to heaven.
Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. John 14:6
It's really pretty simple; Jesus is actively seeking a relationship with all people. Some will reject Him and some will accept Him. Don’t misunderstand this message of salvation. God is not just waiting around and excited about sending people to Hell, it is our rejection of His Son Jesus that makes our choice for us. God has made a way for all of us to spend eternity in Heaven. All we have to do is believe that he sent His Son Jesus to this earth to pay for the penalty of our sins, confess the fact that we're sinners and surrender ourselves to Him.
Take this from someone who spent way too many years living to please himself. When I finally did commit my life to the Lord it was an interesting process. My peace has definitely not happened overnight and the reason for that is my commitment didn’t happen overnight either. But when I finally completely commit myself to Jesus and His way, I began to discover a whole new kind of fun. I’ve never been as satisfied as I am right now and I would encourage anyone who is reading this to let God run your life. It may not be an instantaneous overwhelming calm for you either, but it will mark the beginning of your commitment to the things of the Lord. Trust me when I say that the older you get the harder it becomes and also know that the devil is actively playing with your mind to convince you this is all a bunch of nonsense and there is no way it could be true. One of my favorite quotes is from a movie called the Usual Suspects…
“The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist”
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